“So, how obnoxious are models, really?” I get this question all of the time. Everyone assumes models are spawns of hell who throw sharp objects at the crew before stomping off to snort coke in the bathroom. Let me clear the record – I’ve had little problems with models.
Celebrities, or I should say pseudo celebrities, are a different story. The young "starlets" fresh on the singing or acting scene are the ones to try your patience. They’ve done one movie or a pop single (sang barely on key) and suddenly they're divas.
I recall shooting with a certain French actress for GQ Magazine. Maybe in France she’s really big. I don’t know. But here, at the time, she’d only done one film - a cinematic flop. But she was (and I presume still is) very pretty. As we all know, in America that takes precedence over anything else.
Anyway, Barely Known French Actress (from now on simply referred to as BKFA) AGREED to be shot in lacy white lingerie for GQ. Then when it was time to step on set, she threw an unforeseen hissy fit. She was suddenly uncomfortable with her outfit.
The frazzled fashion stylist began her campaign. “Oh, but you look so beautiful. It’s so wonderful on you. I picked it especially for you. Blah, blah, blah.”
After a lot of sucking up, the stylist convinced BKFA to wear the very expensive pasties. It seemed everything was fine again and we headed on set. But then BKFA decided there was another problem. She didn’t want me on set to touch up her makeup during the shoot.
This posed a problem as she had makeup not only on her face, but on parts of her body as well. In such situations, it’s important to have the makeup artist present to make sure everything looks good on camera. To keep down shine. To watch for makeup on the white lingerie.
When I asked why she didn’t want me in the room, she answered in her very thick French accent, “I zam almost naked. I don’t wantz a roomful of people staring at me.”
Okay, I sort of understood her point because there were an unusual number of men milling about – it seemed the photographer had 12 pubescent male assistants and, naturally they all wanted to be on set "to make sure the lights were working properly."
BUT, and here are two big BUTs (no pun intended), I am not one of the boys. As cute as BKFA was in her lingerie, she did absolutely nothing for me. I simply wanted to be on set so I could do my JOB.
The second but is this: BKFA made her American movie debut in little more than a G-string. I know this as a fact because all of my male friends commented on how great her "acting" was in that g-string. Why the sudden bashfulness? I doubt there was a male in the free world who hadn't already seen her naked bottom.
In the end, everyone catered to BKFA. I waited off set, munching French chocolate and chatting with the heartbroken male assistants.
